Obedience.

Obedience. A word that keeps popping up randomly throughout my reading, listening to sermons, or even just listening to others talk to me. If I’m being honest, a word that can make me uncomfortable and defensive at times. Choosing to make the decision to fight what my flesh and emotions truly want. It’s a constant battle to not react on my emotions. Doing the opposite of what my emotions tell me is honestly one of the hardest things to do, especially with me being the one who wears her heart on her sleeve constantly. “Hello nice to meet you! My name is Faith. You now have a piece of my heart” Is basically how I’m wired. I’m wired to love. I love to love. But sometimes my emotions are deceitful. Sometimes acting on emotions will allow me to step out of God’s will. I notice the second I take my eyes off God, I’m back to wanting an easy fix. I find myself doing what I hate. Romans 7:15 states,”For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Man is that true. God got me right at the heart strings. This is why it’s so important we make quiet times with God a priority. You see, I’m not born wanting to do the right thing. Naturally, I’m quick to act off selfish desires and wants. Regardless of the consequence that follows. By God’s grace and forgiveness, He saves me from myself. It’s in the stillness that we hear Him. The more time I spend with Him, He changes my heart to desire what He desires. It’s in the times when we fix our eyes on Him that walking in obedience isn’t so much a chore. I want to be at the point where I reach to God as fast as I do to my phone to call someone. One of my mentors told me that walking in obedience with God, the emotions for that will come. At first it’s an up hill battle, but now thanks to my sweet friend reminding me- I get to talk to Him, I get to walk with Him. Y’all I fail Him so much and He still chooses me. He still chooses you. It’s a hard road walking with Him. I’m not going to tell you it’s full of rainbows and butterflies, but it’s an up hill battle. And sometimes it’s hard and I want to throw in the towel. But y’all the view you see when you get there. There’s molding in the uphill trench. There’s perspectives being changed. There’s hearts being changed. There’s wisdom. There’s healing being made. There’s seeds being planted. Keep going. I promise you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I encourage you to pause for the cause before allowing your emotions to be your first reaction to situations. Be slow to speak, quick to listen. It’s easy to jump the gun. Is what you’re upset about initially, worth saying something about or did you take it the wrong way because you had a bad day? I pray that you’re encouraged today. I pray you know how valuable you are and even if you’ve gone off track that God can meet you there and restore. He’s able. All you have to do is make the first step. Have a great day today, friends! It’s a good day to have a good day. 

Agape

Agape is defined as,”unconditional love, the highest form of love.” God’s kind of love. A love that doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone off track, I still choose you. I think about how many times I fail God and He still chooses to love me anyway. Love is definitely a choice. On my worst day, God still chooses to love me. And the closer we get to God we get to show His love to others. I pray that God gives me a heart for those that need a little extra love on their worst day. The thing is, with God, there are no conditions when it comes to His love. I don’t have to have it all together for Him to still love me. And as Christians, we should have our arms always open for someone who needs that encouragement and love, without conditions attached. When I think I about my whole reason for being placed on this earth, it’s to love. My identity is not in my job, or school, or anything of that sort-it’s to spread God’s love. Especially in this world we live in today. 

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“So that is why I will always ask you to be real with me and not perfect. I do not want your mask. Instead, tell me about your nightmares, the memories that scream you awake, and I will love you there. Tell me about your childhood and the things you are still healing from, and I will love you there. Tell me about the parts of yourself you cannot look at without flinching, the parts of yourself you are ashamed of, the mistakes that are dotted like museum exhibits along the corridor of your spine, and I will love you there. I do not need for you to be perpetually light filled and soft for me. That is all pretend. Just come to me as you are, and I will love you as you are. I will love you in each season.”

God, this is hard.

Sometimes this is the reality of being a follower of Jesus- actually a lot of times. It’s sometimes questioning if He’s even heard you but trusting that even in the anxiousness of our thoughts still having the faith that He will come through even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s trying to do the right thing and still feeling like you can’t win for losing. It’s the times where you feel like the whole world is against you and you’re crying and saying,”God I’ve been faithful and I’m still trying to be, but this, this is hard.” It’s choosing to be obedient when everyone around you doesn’t understand and thinks you’re crazy. It’s choosing to love when someone is being unkind. It’s choosing to show grace when others say someone is undeserving. Following Jesus it’s not always easy. It’s actually not easy at all especially in the world we live in. It’s messing up and dusting yourself off in God’s love and trying again. The reality is, it’s hard. Satan knows when you’re valuable in the kingdom. He tries harder to make life difficult. But we serve a God who’s mightier, stronger, and so loving. He still chooses us when we are undeserving. He still tells me that I’m worthy of love no matter how much I fail Him. Even though some days are really hard, and this is my reality sometimes- I can rejoice even on days like this. Life will always be messy, my God loves me amongst my mess. Nothing is too messy for Him. “For you are making me like you, clothing me in white. Bringing beauty for ashes. For you will have your bride.” 

Dear person behind me

Dear person behind me, 

I understand that all of our walks of life look different. I know sometimes it seems like we’re dealt the most unfair cards, and sometimes it’s your whole life that seems like it’s one negative thing after the next. I understand that I don’t understand what you’ve been through. I know there’s some days that you feel like you’ve barely made it through. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not have it even slightly figured out. And I understand no matter how much you try do right, sometimes you still can’t win for losin. But, I have some good news for you. 

Dear person behind me,

I want you to know, despite what you’ve been through and what you’ve done, how much you are loved, and if you don’t feel like you’re loved, I love you. Life is full of rejections. And I want you to know, Jesus doesn’t reject you. In fact, He chooses you, even in your broken state. And you know what? We’re all broken. I am broken. The people who seem like they have all together, they don’t. We allow people to see what we want them to see. And you may not understand Jesus’s love for you but He loves you too. My prayer is that He constantly teaches me to love people. I don’t have to know you personally to love you, the fact that Jesus loves you is enough for me to love you. I promise you that everything you’ve been through is your testimony and Jesus can meet you where you are. I don’t have the answers as to why you’ve been through things, but I know that Jesus can deliver you and make your heart whole again. I may not know what you need, and you may not know either, but Jesus does. 

Dear person behind me, 

No matter what you’ve done, you’re still worthy. Jesus calls you chosen. He calls you child. You are forgiven. He loves you. I may have not have been through what you have but I still have my struggles too. Big or small struggles Jesus wants to help you through it all. Not too long ago, I found myself weeping at the altar. Momma Mel looked at my tear filled eyes and I heard Jesus speak straight through her, she said,” Faith look at me, YOU are enough. Do you hear me? YOU are enough.” That’s something I had never shared with her, but had struggled with for years. And I’m here to tell you, that you are enough too. Even on your worst day, you’re still more than enough. Jesus will fill all those holes and spaces. There’s nothing in this world that can fill that. People chase things that are so temporary trying to fill that hurt that only Jesus can fill. 

Dear person behind me, 

Let Jesus be your peace. Things may be hard right now. But I promise you, they will get better. If no one tells you today, I want you to know you’re loved. And you’re worthy of love. You’re not overlooked. Today will be a great day, and if it’s not, tomorrow is a new day and there’s plenty of opportunities for something good to happen. 

Dear God, I pray that the person reading this just knows how special they are. And if they don’t, I pray you place people in their path to remind them. This world is so full of negative, remind them of the good. Remind them that you are good. Apart from you, we have no good thing. I pray that you fill them with your love. I pray you meet them in their mess and their storm. I pray you take their hand and guide them. I pray you fill them with your peace and comfort. Lord, I pray that if what you need is for us to go through storms, that you give us an understanding heart that you’re trying to teach us something. Change our hearts and our perspective. You’re not trying to be mean or hurt us, but that it’s a lesson we need to learn. You’re the teacher. You’re the healer. I pray you make hearts whole again. I pray you fight for our hearts when we forget how to fight. I pray you help us seek you and not other things that leave us feeling empty. Thank you for the good and bad we experience, I pray you use it all for your glory. Amen. 

It’s not over, keep going. 

With love,

The person in front of you 

This Season

Y’ALL this book I’m reading stepped on every single one of my toes-yes even the pinky toe. A lot of people give the advice,”God won’t give you more than you can handle.” I have even told people that. Well that is not true. God does give us more than we can handle. Look at the whole book of Job. God literally allowed everything to happen to that man except death. (If you haven’t read about Job, I highly suggest reading it)God allows things in our lives to lead us closer. Not because he doesn’t love us but because it brings us back to him. He loves us so that he will allow you to go through things that give you no choice but to look to him. In this same book I’m reading and a sermon I listened to recently gave me the same message. (I guess God wanted me to hear it twice, I’m not mad about it.) He will allow us to get in situations without giving us all the details. In the book of exodus there was a story about God leading people to the promise land. BUT (plot twist, cue suspense music-) he didn’t lead them the short route, he lead them the long way. God apparently likes backroads too. He knew that if they would’ve gone the shorter way, they would’ve faced battle and backed out. On the detour, they were too deep in where they were to back out. But, they have to fully rely on God to provide. Those seasons of life are so necessary. In those moments God is preparing your heart. If your heart isn’t ready, what is supposed to a blessing in your life can seem like a curse. He allows seasons in our life where we have to go day by day relying on him just to get through a full 24hours. Some of my favorite things I heard listening to the sermon was “ God things have never been worse, and God says ‘yeah but spiritually you’ve never been better.’” “God I’ve never been in this much pain”, and God says,”yeah but you’ve never been in this much prayer.” All of that to say, God WILL give you more than you can handle. Not because he’s trying to hurt you, but He needs you go through certain things in life so you rely on Him and because where he’s taking you in life, he needs your heart to be in the right place. If you’re in that season right now (because same), this is not permanent. This season is temporary. The anxiety, the pain, the frustration, all of it. But, change your attitude. How long you stay in this season, is up to you. The ones on the way to the promise land didn’t have to stay in the desert for 40 years. You don’t have to stay in this season forever but how you manage the time you’re in this season is up to you. Ask God to change your heart, and embrace this season. He loves us and saves us from ourselves.( I’m no bible scholar and I’m still learning along the way. )

I don’t want to be called a “Christian”

I don’t want to be called a “Christian.” I feel like people use that so loosely. They throw it around like a lot of words that have so much meaning behind them, like the words,”love” and “hate.”  I know a lot of people in my life who want nothing to do with God because of how other people have portrayed God out to be. That affects their life eternally. Being a follower of God changes how you see everything in life. By no means do you live a perfect life but it changes you from the inside out. I pray that God shows me how he sees his people. I pray he teaches me how to love like he does. I pray he that he helps me serve the people who have hurt me and changes my heart. I want to show the world his kindness through my life. I’m reading this book right now and it talks about how God sees us naked- he sees all of our sins, and us for who are. He hears all of our thoughts and he knows what’s on our heart- all the ugly parts and he still loves us anyway. It says,” if we were together right now, I’d turn to you, with tears of true understanding, and whisper, ‘who told you you were naked? Who told you that you are anything less than a most glorious creation of the Almighty God? ‘Who spoke words over you and about you that stripped you bare and broke your heart?’” You see Adam and Eve didn’t know they were naked until they were deceived by the devil. And the devil will speak lies over you and make you believe and things about yourself that aren’t true. And the book talks about how you think these negative thoughts about yourself, and people who are also broken, will speak those things to you and you believe them. And some of these people are people who claim to be Christians. I know in my life I’ve been one of those people and I will continue to mess up. I pray that God works on me and that he helps me be more careful with my words and actions. I pray that to those I’ve hurt and didn’t show Jesus that they forgive me . People who follow Jesus are just as broken as people who don’t. But the difference is that Jesus gives us hope. I pray that I’m able to give others the same tenderness that he’s shown me. To help others see the difference. I want to be a light in this world for him. I don’t believe that I was put on this earth for me but for others. Even though that I’m in school to pursue my dream to be a dental hygienist, that is not the calling on my life. My calling is to love others and show them God’s love. We live in a cruel, sin-filled world. Full of hatred in all forms. We’re called to be different. We’re called to stand out and remind this world of Jesus. Even if I have everything I want but I don’t have Jesus, I have nothing. I don’t want to be just someone that says I’m a Christian. I want to be a true follower.